You never really know how stressed you are, or how much stress you are holding onto, until you look at the scale and instead of seeing the continuing up-and-down roller coaster, you just see the rise. Not the fall. Then you kind of look at yourself in the mirror and think, “Is it really that bad? Is something bothering me that bad? Have I been ignoring it or did I just truly not “see” it?” Not really an aha! moment, because yes I know I am a stresser, but more of an acknowledgment. An acknowledgement of how badly I have let things get out of whack. Here is my (kinda crappy) New Years Resolutions – Week 13 Update.
Well, then I started wondering, okay yes it’s stress, but am I really eating that horrible to cause this gain? I mean, last year for Lent I gave up all things sugar and not-made-by-me and I lost a ton of weight and inches. Why isn’t that happening now? I gave up those same things for my New Years Resolutions and I have been super good, only have had a few cheat moments of buying some junk. I have been eating healthy meals daily, not anything out of the ordinary. I have been good lately with the baking, either eating some of it then throwing it away (stupid and a waste of money, but no control means excessive eating) or wrapping it up and taking it to work. So if I am honest with the eating then what is the problem? Why am I not losing? Well, I think it is because my portions are so truly out of whack! Especially on the weekends. Like bad. I find I have no control when I don’t have structure.
I wouldn’t really call this an epiphany either – just a Homer Simpson, DOH!, moment. Like, duh Megan, just because you are eating healthier foods, doesn’t mean that those calories aren’t bad for you. Or that if you literally eat Saturday away (workout or not) that, yes, a 3 pound gain will happen on Sunday morning, so you have no reason to be irrationally angry or feel like giving up, or blaming anyone but yourself. So how does one get control? Self-control specifically? I certainly have no real idea, that’s for sure. I mean technically I could blame stress, or that I have a lot going on right now. I am moving in two weeks, my parents are moving at the same time so I will be hauling things there also. I am applying for any and all jobs all over the country (yes, I said it, all over the country so if you know anyone hiring send me the link!), but I also just got the last reject letter from all of those interviews in February. How much do I suck, and how much does that information mean to my psyche? I mean I know I am an awesome person, but I really do feel like a sucky, horrible, no good person when I just keep getting rejected. For everything. And to top all that off, if I don’t have a job in place I will be done with my current employer at the end of May. So total money stress happening in my head too. So with these this stress, I have allowed myself to overeat (ie binge) and not deal with my true triggers. So here I am – acknowledging all of this. And whoo, does it not feel good. I mean, I want to be awesome in everything. Problemless. Not these things taking up my time and causing me to have self-doubt, self-hate, and no self-control.
Well, since I just reviewed my eating woes, I will tell you that my workouts have been better. I am following the plan, but altering as needed on some days. One thing I miss is working out on Saturdays. The last two Fridays I went to my parents place for movie nights; this time we watched Gravity – have you seen it? Intense to say the least! But no Saturday workout. Bummer. Sunday I did an ab video and sweated through it, so I did it again on Tuesday. Monday I did circuit training and cardio, then Tuesday I woke up at 3am and was exhausted when I finally got up at 5am so I did the ab video and the Workout Challenge. Totally love this challenge – and I say this on day 2 because it isn’t as intense as it will be on day 20! I also successfully finished up the March Challenge. Yeesh, was that one hard at the end! 50 push-ups is not fun. My arms and shoulders look awesome, but ouch! But, it gives me a focus when I get home after work. A set time to get in a few more exercise minutes and, really, wastes some time instead of eating.
So now for the real update:
Weight & Inches
Total from Last Week: + 3.4lbs, +1.5in
Total from the 1st: -6.2lbs, -8in
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So how has your week been? Let me know how your resolutions are going, I love other people’s positive progress more so than mine
Get you entire backside into awesome shape! Really, it’s fun!